You’ve been cheated on

Now what?

How do you ever get through this?

It’s Happened—The person you thought loved you has hurt you more than you ever imagined.  Your best friend feels like an enemy and a stranger. Everything feels like a lie. Life is crumbling around you and you don’t know what to do.

Should you stay or leave?

Does he love her? Does he love you? Did he ever? WHY did he do this?  Is this even fixable?  And how do you know if he’ll do it again?

You feel betrayed, rejected, deceived, and naive.  Emotions swing from murderous rage and revenge to maddening and clingy despair.

You’ve snooped. spied, maybe even stalked. It feels terrible and obsessive but necessary. But you’re still left feeling tormented, confused, and wondering…

Will you ever get over it?

Cheating is one thing.

Lying is another.

Why couldn’t he just be honest? Why betray you AND destroy the trust?  Maybe you could have gotten over the affair. But now that he’s lied too, you don’t know if you can believe anything he says. You question everything, and you’re not sure if you will ever trust him again. That’s worse than the betrayal.

Worse yet, you can’t even trust yourself.  How did you not see it? You’re questioning everything you believed. Most specifically, your own judgment. If you knew that he wouldn’t cheat or lie ever again and still loved you, the answers might be easier.

When you’re wounded

you have three options

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You’re broken. Insecure, hurt, and rejected. Whether you stay or leave him, you’re left feeling victimized. This should never have happened. and you’ll never trust again. You wear your victimhood like a badge. It gets you lots of attention. But it doesn’t get you over it.

Attack

You’re bitter, and you’re pissed. This has nothing to do with you. He’s the one who f—-d up, and you’ll never let him forget it. You crucify him. You crucify her. None of it stops the hurt. You act strong, but you’re pretending. You’ve become hard and guarded, and no love can get in.

Conquer

It was brutal. One of the worst things you have ever been through. But you’re grateful for it. It cracked you open. Showed you the truth. Brought you closer to an authentic life. You are stronger, more real, and able to be vulnerable. Unbelievably, you trust more, love more, and are more.

Choose to ‘Conquer’

You can get through this

“Meaning can be created from pain.”

In the meantime, if you’re here, you’re hurting.  Whether you just found out, or it was years ago, And if you’ve found your way here, I believe you were meant to.   

Maybe you’re still with him, but you don’t trust him. Or you want to leave, but you’re too afraid. Or maybe one of you left years ago, and…. you’re still bitter.

Whatever stage you’re in, this is a a crossroads. The road may lead you out of your relationship. Or, it might lead you into a better one. With him or someone else. For sure, this can be your first step towards a better relationship…with yourself.

You can find answers, insight, and wisdom whichever way the road turns. You can walk through this and be stronger, grounded, and filled with self-respect for how you chose to do it.

How?

How do you begin to ‘get over it’?

  • Call it what it is…. it’s trauma.  And trauma in the present often brings up trauma from the past.  Knowing this is half the battle.
  • Trust yourself first. It’s more important than trusting him.
  • Learn how to sit with uncomfortable emotions.  Develop healthy strategies to deal with grief, loss, and abandonment. This is key to life.
  • Honesty….about all of it.  Being honest with yourself will restore your self-esteem and self-respect.
  • Reflect on your past, your wounds, and your relationships.  They will provide the insight, wisdom, and courage to choose what’s best for your future.
  • Own up to what you knew… and when you knew it.  It’s not your fault.  But you chose him.  Why?  You’ve gotta look at your relationship with open eyes.  From the very beginning.

Your Journey through Betrayal

Can lead you to the beautiful, powerful, courageous woman you’ve always wanted to be.

The ‘Gifts’

What you will gain here

COURAGE

“Courage is the most important of the virtues. ” — Maya Angelou. You will find it here.

SELF-LOVE

If you are deeply honest, you can restore your self-respect and develop love and compassion for yourself.

UNDERSTANDING

Figure out why and how this happened, how you ended up in it, and how to prevent it from happening again.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Learn how to process rage, despair, grief, loss, and fear. Develop the skill to be comfortable in discomfort.

TRUST

The person you trust least right now is YOU. You CAN trust again. But it starts with trusting yourself.

RELATIONSHIP SKILLS

Set boundaries, ask for what you need, and be willing to leave if it’s impossible to create it in this relationship. 

RELEASE & FORGIVENESS

Learn how to stop obsessing. Release him. Release her. Most importantly, release you.

THE REAL YOU

Let go of the person you thought you were supposed to be. Hear your heart, listen to your soul and follow it.

PEACE & ACCEPTANCE

Accept what has happened and create meaning from it. Trauma can bear gifts if you have the courage to look.

More questions?

Are you tired of feeling victimized, acting crazy, or pretending everything is ok?  Do you need more info to see if this is right for you?

Courageous Clients