Maybe you were meant to
Welcome.
I’m Teri Lynn. Cheating and the pain it causes is something I’ve become intimately familiar with. First, I cheated (Yes, you read that right—bear with me). Then, as so often happens, I was cheated on. This went on for seven long and painful years with so many different women that I eventually lost count.
You might be thinking I got what I deserved. And you might be right. Rest assured, carrying that Scarlet letter on my back and being cheated on was just the beginning. There’s more to my story on the about page if you care to read more. But for now, I can promise you one thing; I’ve suffered the consequences of my actions in more ways than you can imagine.
But something else happened during all those years. I acquired a unique and deep understanding of infidelity. Of course, I eventually figured out why I had cheated. And why it would never happen again. As well as why he cheated and continued to do so.
But more broadly, I figured out the more profound reasons people cheated. And who would be more likely to cheat again. It became clear why women were often willing to be the other woman. I learned what it really took to mend a betrayal and whether that was likely in any given relationship. I knew what was required to get through it. In short, I became an ‘expert’ by being immersed in every facet of its unique misery for nearly a decade. It’s expertise I never wanted it. But now it’s become a gift and my calling.
Unfortunately, cheating is as much a plague as it’s ever been. And yet, few specialize in it and even fewer with first-hand knowledge and experience. You may bristle at seeking help from someone who was once a cheater. But, I promise you, that’s the person you want to seek answers from.
Individual Coaching
What you need most when you’re in turmoil is someone who’s been there to guide you and provide not just understanding and empathy but insight and wisdom.
Gain courage, strength, and skills to not just ‘survive’ this betrayal but thrive despite it. Emerge with confidence, self-respect, and peace. Whatever happens.
The ‘Course’ Video Series
Coming Soon!
Not quite ready for individual coaching? This twelve-video series will cover the vital concepts, skills, and information you need after discovering you have been cheated on. Immediate help at your own pace that you can watch and rewatch. A sort of “Cheating 911”. The course introduces the primary material that private coaching provides but in a budget-friendly format. Great to combine with group coaching or for those on a limited budget.
Group Support
Coming Soon!
Sharing the stories of others struggling with Infidelity’s aftermath can be a powerful resource and reflection. Group Coaching is terrific when combined with The Course or Private Coaching. While not providing the personal and specific guidance that individual coaching can, it is nonetheless a valuable tool. Weekly zoom sessions, paid weekly for as long as you need.
Frequently Asked Questions
You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t. Maybe you can put the pieces back together over time, but will you genuinely be over it? I often see women slap a bandaid over the bullet wound of betrayal and silently suffer….. for years.
Infidelity is profound and devastating and may require insight and skills you don’t currently have. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength that takes courage. Support in any challenging time is immensely beneficial and can help you get through it quicker and more quickly.
Does it feel right? I trust that. I trust you. Trusting yourself is central to what I teach.
I believe cheating can only be fully understood by someone who has lived it. However, I’m not the coach for everyone. Honesty is key to healing, so I will give you the truth. Sometimes that’s hard. I also hold clients accountable. Not everyone is ready for that. If what you’ve read here doesn’t resonate, I trust you will find the exact help you need right when you need it.
It depends on what you mean by ‘work.’ If that means keeping your relationship together, then no, I can’t promise you that.
But if it means feeling better, and getting through the trauma, absolutely. There are no guarantees in life, but I can promise you this. The only way to get over this is to go through it. There’s a lot of introspection, some work, and some pain. And every time we summon the courage to do this kind of reflection, we are better for it.
I can’t guarantee you’ll feel excellent in two days, ten days, or six weeks. But I can promise you’ll move forward through this process, and I’ll be here to help you every step.
Time doesn’t heal your wounds; you do. If you want to get over it, with a bit of help, you can.
That depends. Did you JUST find out? If so, your whole life is upside down at this point. Your path will be longer. You’re in the middle of triage, so to speak. You just got hit, are in shock, and can’t make any decisions and move forward until you gather more info and stop the bleeding.
Or was it years ago? If that’s the case, you have most likely already made your choices (or had them made for you) and what’s left is to deal with the grief, sadness, anger, and loss.
Some clients only needed one session, and others have been coached for a year or more. But I’d say the average is a few months. It often depends more on the stage of the relationship and what is occurring in it. However, you will feel the benefits and positive impact immediately.
While the outcome of the two things is slightly different, you can benefit from either route.
One-on-one coaching is faster, deeper, and more impactful….but you will have to make shifts in your life to keep up with the work we do.
Think of the video series as Cheating 911. All the essentials you need to know. Incredibly helpful in its own right and maybe all someone would need if this was a short relationship or if the cheating was long ago. For more complex or active infidelity, individual coaching may be required.
Of course, financial constraints are a factor for some of us, which was my main reason for creating the video series. As a single mother who struggled for years, it was important to me to make this info available to all income levels. Financial struggle is near and dear to my heart.
As for group coaching, this was meant to be an add-on to both the course and individual coaching. Hearing your struggle reflected in others’ stories provides a different and added element of healing. But, this option can be used independently and is another, more accessible option for those with financial constraints.
Please email me if you aren’t sure what to pick or can’t afford either. I’ll make sure you get the help you need.
For individual coaching clients: Sessions are via video chat and one to one and a half hours in length. Weekly sessions are standard, but the frequency might be shortened for those in critical situations or lengthened for those on the tail end of healing. Most calls are 60 to 90 minutes. Email communication between sessions is included.
Group sessions are also virtual and weekly, one and a half to two hours.
My most successful clients are the ones who are ready to do some deep work. Yes, this hurts like hell – and it probably hurts a lot worse if it just happened – but you have to be ready to transcend the pain and focus on what you can control. Not what you can’t.
This may not be right for you if you’re:
- Crucifying your partner, ex-partner, or the ‘other woman’ on social media or otherwise. This is corrosive, only hurts you, and is a waste of energy. If you’re not willing to stop this, I’m not the coach for you.
- Unwilling to see your role in what has happened. It’s not your fault. You didn’t cause him to cheat. But looking at the choices, actions, and underlying belief systems that may have contributed to you being in this relationship and the dynamic of it is necessary.
- Thinking nothing was wrong with your relationship—everything was great, and both of you were happy. You have to be willing to look at what is broken to fix it.
- Still in your relationship, and leaving is not an option. I am pro-marriage, but I’m not pro-bad-marriage. Sometimes the reason your partner cheated is repairable. Sometimes it’s not. My loyalty is to what serves your highest good, which might include leaving. Please know that I will almost always suggest (except in extreme cases) that you try hard to fix the relationship first. But at the end of that, I will not encourage you to stay in something that sacrifices your soul. Not for kids, not for money, not for anything.
- You are committed to staying the victim. You will cry. You will rage. You will act crazy. That’s expected and normal. But you cannot stay there. When we work together, you will be expected to rise to the strong, independent, and capable woman you are.
It’s important to know that I’m not a therapist or counselor. I didn’t go to college for counseling; I didn’t go to college at all. Nor do I have a coaching credential from a certifying agency. This isn’t a reverse psychology pitch. You need to know who I am. It’s important. I’m not trained in any modality. I’m simply someone who has a lot of life experience, particularly on the topic of cheating.
Without these credentials, I’ve felt pretty inferior at times. Certifications assure core competencies and, more importantly, adherence to ethics and a governing board. These are important. I wish I had them. But, at the age of 50, college isn’t something I want to do. With 17 years of coaching experience, I’m comfortable with my ethics and know what I bring to the table. But this is for you to decide. And you need all the information to make the right decision for you.
That said, I know my lane and refer to professionals when needed. I don’t do couples work. And I recommend that every couple have a therapist in addition to the work I am doing with the woman in the relationship.
Surprisingly, several professionals have referred clients to me over the years. That has undoubtedly helped validate what I do. I’ve also been surprised to see therapists transition to coaching. That’s not to say I don’t believe in psychotherapy. I’m not only a big fan but a regular participant. I have been my entire life.
I’ve just come to realize that what helps someone is very individual. I’ve seen terrible therapists and even more terrible coaches. Honestly, the coaching industry is filled with predators. That being said, what did we do before therapists and counselors existed? We went to our elders for advice or to someone who had personal experience. So after 17 years of coaching, I don’t discount my knowledge and wisdom as much as I once did.
In 17 years of coaching, I have never been asked for a refund. Having said that, if you happen to be the first one, you will be issued a full refund—no questions asked.
The short answer is….possibly. I started out intending to work with women and men and people who were cheating and wanted to stop. I quickly learned that the second audience is rarely looking for help. As for men, I came across men who said they needed help but just wanted attention. Subconsciously. Which is not much different than the energy of cheating. So I narrowed it down to women. That said, if you are the uncommon man who wants to grow and heal (I have worked with several of them), I’m here for you too.
Ready to get over it but still not sure?
If you’re sick of feeling victimized, acting crazy, or pretending everything is ok, but you need more info to see if this is right for you…